


Can't Get Used to Losing You

by rabidchild67



Series: Wangst [4]
Category: White Collar
Genre: Break Up, Crack, F/M, M/M, Talking Penis
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-02-12
Updated: 2013-02-12
Packaged: 2017-11-29 02:26:05
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 685
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/681655
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rabidchild67/pseuds/rabidchild67
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Peter regrets breaking up with Neal. His dick feels otherwise. Oh, what will happen next?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Can't Get Used to Losing You

**Author's Note:**

> Title is a song by The English Beat.

Peter Burke looked up from his computer screen; a bright color had caught his eye. Down in the bullpen, Sara Ellis had just arrived. She stood among his agents, laughing, like a bright parrot amid sparrows.

Neal walked through the doors just then, saw her and grinned. He walked up to her with that easy stride of his, greeted her with a kiss on the cheek. A few minutes later, they left for their lunch date, Neal with a hand at the small of her back. The intimate gesture made Peter’s heart hurt. He sighed heavily and went back to work.

“What’s wrong?” said a familiar voice.

Peter rolled his eyes as his dick twinged in his pants. “I really don’t want to talk about it now. We _are_ in the office. It’s inappropriate.” He moved his mouse around on his desk listlessly for a few minutes, scrolled through the document he was reviewing and didn’t retain any of it. “I miss him so much,” he finally said, longingly.

“It’s best to leave it be. _Luzzem_. The _shiksa_ makes him happy.”

“I know. Sara’s a lovely person and I think she’s a good influence on him too. I wish I could get past this, this…”

“Regret?”

“No.”

“Sadness?”

“Close, but no.”

“Loss?”

“ _Tsoriss_.”

“Ah. Well-put,” Peter’s dick said drily. It shifted around slightly in his pants, as if it were patting him on the thigh comfortingly. “It’s for the best, my friend, trust me.”

Peter started drumming his Quantico pen absent-mindedly on his desk. “But, no, I _don’t_ think it’s for the best. We make each other happy. Isn’t that good enough? Don’t we get to be happy?”

Peter’s dick sighed. “It’s a bit more complicated than that. We all agreed the risks of starting a relationship were too much. Even Neal.”

“I know, but-”

 “But what? What’s changed, exactly? Is he no longer your employee? Did his four years end and no one told me? Did you get a divorce you neglected to tell me about?”

“El likes Neal, she doesn’t mind –“

“That’s irrelevant, and you know it. People judge, _fershtay_? Come on, don’t be a dummy. You want a boyfriend, we’ll find you one somewhere else.”

“That’s not the point and you know it. I _love him_.”

“And there’s nothing you can do about it. Not today, and not for the foreseeable future.”

Peter knew his dick was right, on so many levels. If he and Neal had continued and been found out, there would have been painful consequences for both of them. Peter knew that Neal would throw all caution to the wind just to be with him – he had proven himself to be capable of doing many a crazy and reckless thing for love, ignoring the consequences to himself. But Peter wouldn’t be responsible for sending him down that path. This was best, surely. It just didn’t feel that way.

“But it’s not _fair_.”

“Are you hearing yourself? It’s not fair? Are we twelve now? These are complicated, adult issues. But what do I know, I’m just a lowly _shvantz_.   _Gay ga zinta hate_. Do what you want.”

“Don’t be like that…” Peter said, putting his hand in his lap and stroking his dick a little with his thumb. Sometimes there was no talking to him when he was like this.

“No, no.”

“Come on, this is hard for me. This emotional stuff is hard for me.”  


His dick was silent for a while, considering. “I know, my friend. You think I don’t have a little _rachmones_ for you? I, of all people, know you. You are a man of deep feeling, capable of great love. And I know you don’t give it easily or without careful consideration. But you must stay the course on this. It’s too dangerous. Please, tell me you’ll listen to me on this. On this if nothing else.”

“Fine, fine. You win. I won’t say a thing.”

But in his heart, Peter knew he was lying. He would figure out a way to make it work with Neal. He had to.

\----

Thank you for your time.


End file.
